As I sit here, typing this, I am filled with emotion. I am both happy and sad, it’s all a mix. I know that I haven’t really posted in a while, and there is a good reason for that. One reason is that I am a perfectionist, so every post that write I end up getting rid of a few times before posting it. Other reason why I haven’t posted in a while is that my life is…troublesome right now. A lot of disappointing things have happened and I need to be honest, I’ve been having a rough time.
I had a lot of plans for this year, I was going to go on a Youth Retreat, I was going to go on a Mission Trip (backpacking through Italy and Greece). I also wanted to see a lot of people that I haven’t seen in a long time. And then there are concerts that I want/need to go to. So what’s the issue you ask? Most of these plans have fallen through. There is no Youth Retreat, no Mission Trip and for most of the people, I won’t see them.
I would be lying if I said that I am no longer upset about this, however, my spirit about this has changed a bit. At first I very sad, tears flowed, then I was angry. I felt like, “Lord, why? Just why?!” And in the midst of all this, I was reminded of a scripture;
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” (Ecc. 3:1-8)
When I read this, I knew that I had an answer to my question. My question to God of “Why?” was answered with Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. Even though I may not understand the reasons behind God’s plan, I will still follow him, and not with a heavy heart, but rather a joyful spirit! With this said, I am still upset, and understandably so! Some of the people that I was looking forward to seeing, I hadn’t seen in years. (7 years to be exact)
So now, in this moment, what I feel, is peace. I hear you ask why, why do I feel at peace? I feel at peace because I know that my life is in God’s hands. I need not to fear. Joshua 1:9 says; “Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” I have a been commanded, ordered, by God to not fear! I am told to have courage and be strong!
I have been writing this post this whole day, and my spirit and feelings have been calmed, I have been reassured by God that life is going to be ok. Jesus said “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) Another promise from God that if I come to him, it will be ok. No, life isn’t going to be easy after that. I am still going to go through tough times, but I have a promise from God, and also a commandment from God. And I know that no matter what happens, I will serve him.
There is nothing, I repeat, nothing, and I say yet again ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that can separate me from the love of God, and I too can prove this to be true, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38&39)
I could just keep telling you of our amazing God, I could write and write and write, but that’s not enough. This blog could not contain all the words that I have to exclaim my burning passion for God, in fact, 26 letters is not enough either. Even though I have gone through so much, I cannot deny my God, I would be dead (quite literately) without him. And I am cannot brag about my love for God, because I fail him daily. But I can brag about his love for me because IT NEVER FAILS!* I will leave you with this;
I love you all, and so does God ❤
(*found this on another site I didn’t write it)